What if the very thing that’s keeping you afloat is also holding you back? And what happens when it feels like there’s nothing left to hope for?
Hope is a cornerstone of the Give an Hour (GAH) model, and for good reason. It is the antidote to hopelessness, a beacon that lights the way through emotional struggle, and a powerful catalyst for empowerment and healing. When harnessed effectively, hope can transform lives, giving us the courage to persevere, and the strength to envision a better tomorrow.
When Hope Keeps Us Stuck
Hope becomes problematic when it shifts from being a motivator to a barrier. 
For me, I realized my hope was becoming harmful when I found myself clinging to the idea that a relationship, long since ended, would circle back. I was so attached to the fantasy of reconciliation that I began to rewrite history, romanticizing the relationship and glossing over the very real reasons it needed to end.
This realization didn’t come easily. Through journaling, I started to see the ways my hope had turned into an anchor, keeping me tied to the past. Revisiting the relationship with honesty helped me recognize that my fixation on a specific outcome (their return) was harming my ability to move forward. I was pouring all my energy into hoping for something that wasn’t good for me, and in doing so, I was neglecting the opportunities for healing and growth that lay ahead.
Letting go of false hope felt like losing a part of myself, but it also opened new pathways. Once that treacherous road of reconciliation became blocked, I had no choice but to find alternative routes. Those new roads led me toward self-discovery and healing, allowing me to build a future not anchored to the past but filled with fresh possibilities and a healthier kind of hope.
When does hope becomes less of an empowering force and more of an anchor, preventing forward movement? The same dynamic can play out in other areas of life: Clinging to a toxic job can look like enduring a work environment that consistently undermines your wellbeing because of the hope that things will eventually improve. For example, you might stay in a role where your contributions are overlooked or where the culture is draining, holding onto the belief that a promotion or leadership change will fix things. You might tell yourself, “If I just push through a little longer, it’ll get better,” or, “This is just temporary, it’ll be worth it in the end.”
This kind of hope can prevent you from acknowledging the reality that the job may never align with your needs or values. It keeps you tethered to a cycle of dissatisfaction and burnout, where you’re expending your energy waiting for change instead of seeking a healthier, more fulfilling opportunity. Recognizing this dynamic can be a turning point, helping you let go of false hope and move toward a future that supports your growth and wellbeing.
What We Hope for Is Just as Important as Being Hopeful
Perhaps the loss of hope can serve as a valuable wake-up call, forcing us to confront the end of something to make way for the beginning of something new. Hope is powerful, but what we direct our hope toward matters just as much as feeling hopeful itself. Sometimes, our hopes need room to breathe, to change, and to grow with us.
Reframe Hope as Flexible, Not Fixed
Think about how rigid hope can hold you back. Instead of locking yourself into one specific outcome let your hope evolve. Maybe instead of hoping for one job to work out, you hope for growth in your career. Instead of pinning your happiness on one relationship, you focus on finding deeper connections, whether with others or yourself. When hope is flexible, it’s easier to pivot when life throws curveballs, making change less intimidating and more of an opportunity.
Set Boundaries Around Hope
Sometimes, hope can blind us to reality. Ask yourself, “Is this hope serving me, or is it keeping me stuck?” Reflect on whether what you’re hoping for truly aligns with your wellbeing and values.
It’s also important to examine what you’re consuming that reinforces your ability to hope. Are you in an echo-chamber, surrounding yourself with content that fuels anger, frustration, or unrealistic expectations? Maybe it’s social media posts full of rage or toxic positivity that tell you only what you want to hear, not what you need to hear. These things can trap you in cycles that cloud your judgment. Set limits on how much energy you dedicate to dwelling on specific hopes. Practices like journaling or setting a “mental timer” for reflection can help you process your emotions without getting stuck in them.
Seek Support
Sometimes, it’s hard to see when hope is helping or hurting. That’s where others can come in. Talking to someone you trust (a friend, therapist, or peer support group) can help you untangle your feelings. They might help you see patterns you’re too close to notice or offer a perspective that helps you recognize when hope has turned into an anchor instead of a sail.
Embracing Hope Wisely
Hope is an incredible gift with the power to heal, empower, and inspire. But hope, like all things, requires balance. By pairing hope with action and acceptance, we can harness its transformative power. In doing so, we honor not only the potential of hope, but also the importance of living fully in the present, unshackled by what no longer serves us.
Ultimately, hope is not about waiting for the future to change; it’s about empowering ourselves to create the change we wish to see, one step at a time.
