We’ve all been there—someone asks how you’re doing, and without thinking, you respond, “I’m fine!” Or maybe a coworker shares how stressed they are, and someone silver lines it by starting their sentence with “At least…”. These kinds of interactions seem harmless and may also be well-meaning but they reflect a deeper issue that’s become more common in workplaces today: glossing, also known as toxic positivity.
Glossing is when we use forced optimism, humor, or cheerful comments to dismiss real emotions. It’s a way of dodging discomfort—our own or someone else’s. Humor can be healthy, but when it’s used to avoid hard truths, it becomes a problem. It’s like trying to slap a smiley-face sticker over the crayon writing on the wall. The crayon is still there; you’ve just covered it up for now (I’m sure you fellow parents have seen that trick being used before).
These types of comments minimize emotions that need to be heard and validated. When we respond to frustration or sadness with things like “It could be worse!” or “Look on the bright side,” we’re not helping anyone feel better. We’re shutting down the chance for real empathy—and when that happens often enough, it hurts morale and relationships.
It’s not hard to understand why people do it. Avoiding tough conversations feels easier in the moment. There’s also this persistent idea that being positive is always the right approach or that being a team player means that they should take one for the team, which puts pressure on people to mask their real emotions and perpetuates inefficiency. Nobody wants to be the “downer,” right? So, instead of admitting we’re struggling, we smile through it and say, “I’m fine.”
In some cases, people might not even realize they’re glossing. Emotional awareness takes practice, and without it, it’s easy to fall back on autopilot responses. Managers might think they’re being encouraging with upbeat messages, but they can end up coming across as dismissive instead.
Is Glossing Really That Common?
Just look around, and you’ll see it everywhere in the workplace. It’s in the “Everything’s great!” emails that ignore real problems. It’s in the meetings where managers tell employees, “Keep up the good work,” without giving meaningful feedback. It’s in the way conflict gets brushed aside with jokes like, “We’re all friends here—no need to argue!” It’s in the way we show up at meetings with a smile, but really we’re frustrated about the way a project is progressing.
And the numbers back it up. According to a recent Monster poll, 67% of workers say they’re in a toxic environment, and 78% don’t believe their employer is doing enough to support mental wellness. These numbers keep rising, which says a lot about how common these behaviors have become.
The Impact of Glossing on Workplace Culture
The truth is, glossing over issues doesn’t just create awkward moments; it erodes trust. When people feel like their concerns are constantly brushed aside, they stop speaking up. Teams become less connected, communication turns shallow, and growth stalls because no one is addressing the real issues. Workplaces aren’t what they used to be. There was a time when loyalty to a company came before everything, and people stuck with jobs for decades, even if they were miserable. But things are different now—people want to feel fulfilled at work. They want a sense of purpose and connection. If companies ignore this shift and enable glossing, they risk driving away employees who value authentic relationships and mental wellness as well as progress and growth of the organization. It’s hard to innovate or grow when everyone’s too busy pretending everything’s fine.
The good news? Shifting away from toxic positivity doesn’t require grand gestures. It starts with small changes. Managers can make a big difference by inviting open conversations with curiosity. A question like “What’s on your mind?” may go a lot further than “You’re doing great, keep it up.” When someone brings up a challenge, acknowledging it—rather than brushing it off—helps build trust.
A helpful practice is to notice how often you steer conversations away from challenges. Do you deflect with humor when something uncomfortable comes up? Are you more comfortable sending cheerful emails than discussing hard truths? It’s worth reflecting on these habits to see if they’re creating distance between you and your team. Letting go of glossing doesn’t mean we stop being positive—it means we stop forcing it. It’s about creating space for real conversations, even when they’re uncomfortable. Imagine how things could change if we replaced “I know there are challenges here—let’s figure them out together.”
Leaders who practice emotional honesty set the tone for everyone else. When employees see that it’s okay to be open about struggles, they’re more likely to feel supported and valued. It’s not about getting everything right all the time—it’s about showing up as your real self and inviting others to do the same.
It’s also important for employees to feel safe sharing how they really feel. That doesn’t mean every meeting turns into a therapy session, but it does mean creating an environment where people know they can be honest. The way we gloss over things at work often mirrors how we deal with emotions at home. We might downplay our struggles, obsess over small issues, or withdraw when things get tough. It’s worth paying attention to these behaviors—what Give an Hour calls “The Silent Six”—to understand how we’re really feeling. Whether it’s people-pleasing, ghosting, or avoiding tough conversations, these patterns affect our relationships. Just recognizing when we’re doing it can be the first step toward making a change. The same goes for workplace habits. When we stop glossing, we open the door for real connections—and that’s where growth happens.
So next time someone says, “Yes it’s all going really well!”—consider responding with, “Actually, can we talk about what’s really going on?” You might be surprised at what happens next.
