The summer I turned 40 was not pretty. I had forgotten my “why,” felt lost, unsettled, below ordinary on all levels, pouring no passion or positivity into others, and feeling extreme exhaustion in the mundaneness of motherhood. I was living life feeling a deep sense of emptiness in a cocoon-like shell, navigating deeply personal challenges not visible to the outside world. I was not showing up as the best version of myself. I was not fully engaging with my true potential or authentic self in my daily life and interactions as a wife, mother, daughter, or friend. I became a stranger to myself. SELF!SH was the catalyst for a profound awakening, pointing me back toward my true North Star.
I discovered SELF!SH while scrolling aimlessly through social media. It was a simple John O’Leary post captioned, “Joy,” with a picture of his mother Susan O’Leary and her first encounter with actor Stephanie Szostak, who plays the role of Susan in the movie about his life. The picture exuded joy and was so pure in connection and emotion. John and his mother Susan are incredible and inspiring pillars of faith, hope, resilience, and love. I was intrigued by who had the honor and responsibility of playing Susan O’Leary. I clicked on Stephanie’s name tagged in the picture and on her profile, I was drawn to the boldness of the title of the book, SELF!SH. Stephanie’s profile included the Joseph Campbell quote, “The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.” Recognizing that quote brought back nostalgic writing memories of my high school English class, where we routinely responded to various authors’ thought-provoking prompts in our journals. I felt such a magical and magnetic pull toward the book with the foreword written by John O’Leary, its bold title, and its potential to challenge societal norms about self-sacrifice while aiming to redefine “selfishness” as a positive trait necessary for leading a fulfilling life. Intrigued by this perspective and attracted to the vibrant colors and straight-to-the-point, all-caps cover stating, “STEP INTO A JOURNEY OF SELF-DISCOVERY TO REVIVE CONFIDENCE, JOY, AND MEANING,” I felt strongly that I needed to answer the call to adventure by stepping into the journey within the SELF!SH pages with a humble and open heart.
Journey Within SELF!SH: Finding Joy Along the Journey
It was pretty swift with each page lift; specifically, on page 3, I knew I was going to play full out with SELF!SH when I read Stephanie’s words: “My mother told me that her forties were her best decade. She said that, for her, it was when she finally knew who she was and didn’t care what other people thought. Well, I was forty and I was longing for a whole lot of that.” Stephanie’s words resonated so deeply within me, and from that paragraph, I knew that initial magical, magnetic pull toward the pages was validated.
SELF!SH was unlike any other genre of book I have read or experienced. SELF!SH is a structured workbook with eight self-reflection exercises. I needed to do this work within myself, and this book created permission to prioritize my own needs, provided an opportunity to rewrite the narrative to see self-care as a strength rather than a weakness, pursue my passions unapologetically and celebrate self-preservation while recognizing that taking care of myself is crucial to being able to care for others effectively. Some pages promoted peace and joy within, while other pages challenged my ability to focus on self-reflection. It was uncomfortable at times to sit stagnant with a page of empty lines following a reflection prompt. It was as if the blank lines were mirroring my emptiness and silent struggle within.
I appreciate and respect how Stephanie’s encouraging vulnerability and authenticity were present within the pages as her words gracefully guided me throughout the book. This grace in the space to work at my own pace granted self-compassion and patience in processing the power and impact within the “why” of the exercises. Stephanie’s wit and heartfelt personal reflections, along with her unique insights into her own playbook, provided guidance as I created my own personal playbook.
I am beyond grateful to have had the opportunity to be part of the SELF!SH book club community led by Nickie Silverstein, Consultant, Ambassador Relations with Give an Hour, and Give an Hour Ambassador and author of SELF!SH, Stephanie Szostak. Hearing what inspired the book’s creation and how it came to life was so captivating. I anticipated our time in the community with great joy and excitement and left every virtual meeting feeling valued, supported, inspired, and ignited as I continued my journey through the book.
Journey Beyond SELF!SH: Path Ahead with Passion, Peace, Purpose, and My Life Philosophy
SELF!SH created an avenue for me to journey back into various seasons of my life with a curious, childlike perspective. I can more efficiently elevate as I navigate the challenges of self-prioritization and understand the importance of self-care, celebrating achievements of my past with hope for future goals while mirroring with honor all those whom I have admired and respected.
I am grateful for the experience of hosting a SELF!SH book club with friends and honoring myself with time for a second round of reading and stepping into the steps even deeper in exploring and rediscovering more about my core with greater clarity. I feel beyond thankful for the book’s opportunity to journey back to myself, being present in my passions, embracing my mission within, feeling peace in my purpose while honoring an awakening of my Life Philosophy. I am pumped to continue my path forward equipped with my personal playbook, greater clarity of my core, and ultimately achieve a more balanced life, giving my best to love, serve, and share positivity along the paths of others I journey through life with. 
In my prior understanding, the concept of being “selfish” held a negative connotation. However, after reading and working through the book SELF!SH by Stephanie Szostak, I discovered that reclaiming true self-care and prioritizing my own needs and desires can lead to profound personal growth. I share this experience about my personal transformational mindset journey with a thankful and grateful heart. Wherever you are on your life’s journey, please remember there is no one like you and your life has impact. I wish you hope, peace, and joy within your journey.
Cheers,
Monica
Monica participated in Give an Hour’s first Self!sh book club and was the winner of our lunch with Stephanie Szostak Sweepstakes in NYC.
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